© Copyright Our Wall
I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I'm still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining examples of the teachings of a course in miracles, and fo the first time in an extended while, I don't feel alone.
Element of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I could be doing so for the wrong reason; as an easy way to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I'd had any insights. What I'm about to generally share was not yet clear at that time; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have allow you to see inside a course in miracles. Don't are interested troubling your mind, won't you allow it to be?” This confused me as I possibly could not think of whatever I'd stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don't are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I'd in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents'satisfaction, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people's state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief is being (has been?) released.
You will find other items that happened that felt important, but I can't think of them right now.
The Wall